the FIRST thing clarke tells the god when she tells it about her pain is “feel me holding lexa while she dies” and you’ll never take that away from us. clarke has lost SO FUCKING MUCH in her short life. she just lost her daughter and even with that fresh in her mind, lexa dying in her arms is still the biggest pain clarke’s ever felt. worse that anything and everything. losing lexa was the biggest trauma of clarke’s life. that’s a hard, indisputable canon fact and i’m not fucking okay. not one bit